I posted this picture on Facebook this morning.
I love the way Danny’s looking at me–like he reallllly likes me.
I captioned it “Niner! Happy Anniversary to US!!!”
The caption should have read, “We made it to nine. But just barely.”
I’m exaggerating. Kind of.
This year was rough. Probably the worst in our ten years together. And in the spirit of being open and honest–and authentic–I thought I should share. And maybe–just maybe–you could relate.
. . .
The combination of losing both my grandparents and a long, cold, dark winter made me sad. And then we had a kid who wouldn’t sleep through the night–that made me tired.
My day job changed a little too this year–and one of my co-workers who was a dear friend made me feel irrelevant, both professionally and personally. That stung.
I put every ounce of shiny, happy Angie–the very few ounces I had left–into my kids, not my husband–because I’m one of those moms who does that. Don’t judge.
At the end of the day I felt underappreciated–even unappreciated.
And he did too.
So we fought at night–after I’d get the insomniac kid back to sleep at 2am–about the same old stuff.
The trash–whyyyyy am I the only one who can see an overflowing trashcan. The dishwasher–empty it, just empty it once in awhile. The lack of thank yous–how about a hug and a thank you when the house is clean, dinner was good and the kids are happy.
It went both ways.
Who cares about the overflowing trashcan–whyyyyy did I let it bother me so much. The dishwasher–let it go, they’re dishes. And he’d never heard a thank you for working so hard all day, everyday to provide a good life for us–a good life that allowed me to spend my days at home with our kids while they were little.
He was right. I was right. We were both right–and wrong.
Good arguments or bad–none of them were really getting to the heart of the matter.
. . .
I don’t know what happened–what changed.
Actually, I do. Both my kids started sleeping like champs–and the sun finally came out. Praise the Summer of 2015.
I think I also realized people we love die, kids we love don’t sleep and sometimes friends we love don’t love us back. Regardless, life is pretty great and I can be happy just living it.
He changed too. But that’s his story to tell, not mine. He’s still the man I married nine years ago–and I appreciate him. He still looks at me the same way he did in that photo on our wedding day–and that makes me feel appreciated.
I’m lucky. We’re lucky–I believe that’s a big part of it too. Marriage is tough. It’s hard work-but it’s also luck. And the bad years just make the good years seem that much better.
Cheers to NINE, Danny. I love you–and appreciate you. Here’s hoping we make it to NINETY-NINE. XOXO.